Don’t tell me you were expecting something serious! Challenges are meant to be fuuuuun. Ama namna gani my fren?
Today I can be at the salon and tomorrow I’d be downtown masquerading in some muddy -muddy wedding untroubled, unstressed, undisturbed, unperturbed… Which one have I left ? Ooh and unruffled about my hair. I still remember when my hair was funny. Funny peculiar not funny haha. Gone are the days I used to walk in the streets and hear strangers arguing about it. No it’s uzi. No it’s dreadlocks. No it’s her hair, she just hasn’t combed it! Let’s take a moment of silence.
Nowadays…? Na siringi. Na sijapata pesa!
I BECAME AN AUNT
I wake up at three. Hehe thank you for thinking so highly of me but am not that ambitious. The only reason am usually up this early is because I have these irreducible minimums of a two year old I have to tend to. He’s the type of alarm you cannot snooze and give yourself an extra five minutes. Canon mka (Sharon amka)… Canon ataka kai (chai)… Ataka papati (chapati)… Ataka blende (bread). Canon ataka this, Canon ataka that… Ataka gai (gari). Jesus Christ, does he know what time it is!
I hate to be loved. This is supposed to be the heart of my sleep but here I am, wide awake with this little minion doing I don’t know what coz if not, slaps would descend on my head like rain. I force myself out of bed and tell him (Oh yes, I tell him. This is not the time to debate his level of understanding) were it not for his tiny ass, I would tape his mouth and lock him up in the wardrobe. I even tell him in future if I see him idling I’ll be sending him from tenth floor to the shop just to greet the shopkeeper. How else will he know who’s in charge? Africans. Sigh. But all he does is give me a blank stare as if he hasn’t done anything worth pissing.
In seriousness though, being an aunt has taught me patience, perseverance, tolerance and so so much more. Like when a baby poops on you, you just smile regardless of what you’re wearing or where you are coz after all that’s what babies do, right?
Although I’m a fitness nut now, I haven’t always been into fitness. Two years ago I had no idea what burpees (a particular nasty squat/pushup/jump movement that NO ONE is excited about and trainers smirk about you having to do) were. I didn’t even know wall sit is a thing. I was a typical student; I ate junk for breakfast, lunch and drunk way too little water. Honestly, I didn’t fathom why someone would see the need to go to the gym twice a day. Then one day I stumbled upon a video on YouTube… I have never looked back since.
Change is good, but not easy. It has it’s peaks and lows. But ultimately, I think of life as a rollercoaster. How boring would it be without the bumps, the high drops or the stomach churning loop-the-loops?
Difficult as it may be, am not throwing in the towel. A woman can and should look, workout and be whatever she wants – not what society deems to be the female norm.
Am stoked you’re here again for my rambling.